Who is going to be *your* doggie date for Valentine's Day?

I am deeply conflicted about dogster.com.

I ought to be a fan. I am clearly their target audience. "Ribsy" is a very spoiled animal. He has more toys than the average Appalachian child. He eats dog bones that cost more than my morning coffee at the Tattered Cover. I took him to see Santa Claus.

I cannot pretend to be above Dogster. And, honestly, there are a lot of things that I find charming about the site. The dogs are (mostly) very cute. And you get to read about them, which is a fun way to waste time. For example, today I learned about Onyx.

Onyx is a very cute dog, and if she lived down the street, I'm sure Ribsy would adore her. Alas, Onyx lives in PA, so we are out of luck. Unless... Onyx and Ribsy became pup pals on Dogster.com. And here's my first problem with the site. Ribsy and Onyx are dogs-- how exactly does an online dog friendship work?

I will say, in full disclosure, that I'm ambivalent about humans making friends online too. I don't do friendster or myspace or any of that, and its never occured to me that I should meet people online or befriend posters on message boards or chat rooms. But I can understand the appeal of online friendships.

I think it may be different for dogs though.

I have no idea about Onyx, but Ribsy can't read, can't write, can't type, and doesn't seem to know what a computer is. I'm not entirely sure that he has much to offer an internet pal. And while I don't doubt that he has lots of deep thoughts, I don't know what they are and I am not going to try to figure them out so I can write emails on his behalf. And I'm not prepared to read him emails written on behalf of his pup pals.

It should not come as a surprise that Ribsy does not have a Dogster blog. But, if I decide to post on his behalf, it will only be if he has something interesting to say. I am not going to blog so you can all hear about what I ate for breakfast, and Ribsy is not going to blog so you can learn that he sniffed a tree on his walk.

Until today, I thought that the blogs were the worst thing about Dogster.

Then, I discovered the message boards.

I initially thought I would be able to say nice things about them. There is plenty of useful information, and although some people insist on posting on behalf of their dogs, there are also worthwhile conversations about dog food brands, how to train your dog, etc. I can see using this as a resource. They even have a play dates thread. This is all good.

Then, I discovered the Dogster Crushes. The hot thread is "Who is going to be your doggie date for Valentine's Day?", closely rivaled by the "Round 10- Vote for your favorite dogster couple".

I'd like to say something snotty here, but I'm at a bit of a loss. Doggie Dates? Dogster couples?

I know you are all rushing to the page, so l'm going to conclude with the following warning from Dogster:

Crushes is for light-hearted fun. These are often neither real nor permanent connections, just playing around. A friendly reminder to anyone making connections here, Dogster is still part of the internet, so take care not to befriend anyone too fast without really knowing who they are. Woof Woof!